Sunday, February 24, 2013

49. So, you want to be a clothes thief?

Interesting choice of profession. Won't judge. Anyhow, I'm here today to offer you the best piece of advice you will ever get pertinent to the field. Because I am a truly generous person.

So, over the course of your sure-to-be long and fruitful future career, you are bound to see one or more of these:


Yes, that is a lovely security tag often found on articles of, you guessed it, clothing!

So what you do is find yourself a hammer (or something heavy like a dumbbell)  and a chisel. Position the chisel along the seam of the security tag. Apply force to the end of the chisel with your hammer. Voila! The security tag should split open down the middle, and all you have to do is pry it open and remove the circular pin holding it to the article of clothing.

You should end up with something like this:


So now the only hard part is to figure out how to do this in a heavily monitored clothes store, but I trust you can figure that out for yourself. If you aren't successful the first time, don't fret: there's plenty of time to perfect your technique in jail!

***

Hardy har har. All jokes aside, the only reason I know the above information is because I had a shirt (legally bought from H&M, in case you're wondering) which had a security tag on it that the cashier forgot to remove. After googling around for a while in efforts to figure out what to do with the situation, and coming to the conclusion that bringing the shirt back to the retailer was a) too much work and b) likely to yield not-so-great results since I could not locate the original receipt, I was left with one last option.

Asking my jack-of-all-trades younger brother for help. So you can thank him for the above creative and somewhat effective security-tag removal method.

*The Hopping Grass does not endorse theft, and is not responsible for what readers choose to do with the information shared above.

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