24. Tragically Late Retort

Heading out to the car after an afternoon with a good friend shopping for appropriate DECA attire, said friend noticed that the bags we carried had quite the interesting design, what with the contrast created between a stark-white background and a distinctive golden monogram. Clearly meant to emphasize value and make carriers of the bag appear pretentious.

A couple of hours later, I reflect upon this astute observation in light of recent experiences with a website you may have heard of.

Using this anonymous-comment system, it has been brought to my attention that to some, I seem "cold", "self-centred", and have hurt others "mentally" through "[ignoring] people who [I] believe are inferior."

I put plenty of thought into my responses, trying to help the anons that make these hurtful comments understand that I don't ignore them out of malice or ostentatiousness, but rather because I am a) easily distracted, and b) about as socially awkward as this little fella right here.

Then I proceeded to spend another hour thinking about how these people would interpret my responses, and whether they would scoff and view me as being totally fake and defensive.

Five minutes ago, I reached a conclusion. WHY THE HECK SHOULD I BLOODY CARE? I am who I am, and if people can't see past my faults and appreciate me for the inappropriately sarcastic, prone-to-nervous-breakdown, socially awkward, try-hard selective listener that I happen to be, then who needs them anyway?

Pleasing everyone is never going to happen. And maybe deep down, some subconscious part of me is deliberately ignoring these people because a) they repeatedly make irrelevant/annoying comments, b) I'm just not interested in the inane topic they've been prattling on about for the last 15 minutes, c) I've got better things to do with my time, or d) some combination of the three.

Perhaps I'm not the perfect empathetic listener of a friend you've always wanted. Nor do I have the patience of a saint. But I've never claimed to, so take me at face value, and choose to either associate with me cordially, or run away screaming at my presence. But don't use anonymity as a shield to hide behind while you criticize me over the internet and laugh at my jokes in person.

I'm done with typing extensive and heartfelt apologies for every little offence I may or may not have directly or indirectly caused. If you've got a problem with me, at least do me the courtesy of telling me in person.

Thanks. I appreciate it.