DON'T PANIC

Hi.

Just dropping by to let you know that you really needn't. Panic, that is! 

Despite that fact that it's been a month-28 days, 12 hours, 43 minutes actually, but who's counting-since my last check-in, I'm perfectly fine.

After an entire July spent working with what I'd say were delightful-dreadful-, intelligent-imbecilic-, and generally well-behaved-persistently insubordinate-children, my short-tempered, slightly sardonic, and repeatedly interrupting alter-ego would beg to differ. 

Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce to you, Silky Shalanda (name courtesy of this snazzy little generator). Silky? SILKY?

She does that sometimes. Disappears to sulk alone off in a dark, dusty corner of my head. Anyhow. After the termination of my summer job, Silky promptly mailed off this year's renewal fee for the National Association of People Who Hate Children of All Ages from the Very Bottom of Their Hearts.

They promptly replied via email with a thank-you gift of sorts - a long list of rather crude and unnecessarily heartless pieces written by celebrated members of the Association and complaining about the little monstrosities, all for her enjoyment.

Silky has spent a good week going through these altogether quite horrid websites with evident enjoyment, and causing the unfortunate co-inhabitant of the body, me, great embarrassment when she bursts out laughing upon recall of these websites at completely inappropriate times.

***

Excuse me for the momentary break, but she just went and did it again. Laughing at one particularly inspired rant: http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=kids which I don't find hilarious at all.

Quick note to all future employers who may be reading this for whatever odd reason: No worries; Silky is at the moment straitjacketed and sulking off in what is a very secure holding facility in my temporal lobe. So erm, Grace is a wonderful choice for whatever position you're considering her for. Completely stable and no risk whatsoever to children. :)

Hm. Silky seems to be taking awfully long, even for one of her solitary afternoon sulks, which rarely last longer than 3 minutes. I'd best be checking up on her.

So erm, see you next time, where I'll probably give you another inside vie-Silky! Hey, you're back! What's that you're hold-why are you pointing it at-No, Silky, don't even think abou-STOP RIGHT THIS INSTA-AIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Hi there, readers. Aren't you glad I got rid of that wearisome and droll alter-ego of mine? You won't be hearing from her for a while. You've got my entertaining and rather more accurate accounts of life to look forward to now.

Ta-ta.

THE SILKY SHALANDA